Why?

why do i feel so useless..
why do i feel soooo stupid...
maybe its not just my feelings...
maybe its true..
i'm a useless person who can't make my parents proud..
i loathe my life..
i wish one night when i'm asleep..
i would just stop breathing..
my heart would just stop beating..
i'm over pretending to my friends that i'm okay when i'm dying inside ..
i felt like i lost everything..
i lost my mom .. even when she's here beside me..
i lost my dad.. even if we see each other everyday..
i lost my brothers.. even if i talk to them almost every day ..
i lost my friends..
i lost my family..
i lost EVERYTHING
.. i feel so alone ..
what did i do wrong to deserve this?
.. i'm happy when i'm talking to my  friends.. 'cause i don't wanna tuck them into my problems..
i don't wanna ruin their lives just o i can live mine better..
i don't wanna enter any other person's life to get help to save me from this misery ..
I'M ALONE .. even if there a lot of people surrounding me... still I FEEL SO ALONE ..
i don't know what to do any more ..
i am one sad gurl .. :'(